*Where “Barbados” means “Bermuda” and “I’m going to” means “we went to”. Sadly, there isn’t a one hit wonder called “We went to Bermuda” but there really ought to be.
Woah, back to the palm trees.
Bermuda is not a common holiday destination for non-wealthy New Zealanders, but it’s all about who you know. Or at least it’s about who who you know knows. Anyway, since we had friends, and hence free accommodation, in Bermuda, and since we scrimped and saved and ate two-minute noodles for at least two years prior, we got to go to Bermuda and it’s pretty cool to be able to say that. Especially since most NZers, when they ask you where you’re going on your impending trip and you say “Bermuda” they say really? with a completely gob-smacked look on their face, and they peer at you sideways trying to figure out how you got so rich all of a sudden. Also? They are very jealous. And so they should be because Bermuda is a lovely place. Lovely, and very expensive. Take your own two-minute noodles.
We went in June, in the middle of our winter (where the temperature drops to minus 2 degrees celsius overnight and oh my god it’s so arctic) so we frightened the Bermudians with our lily-whiteness. But the pink sand (it really is pink!) complemented us nicely, don’t you think?
It didn’t take us long to strip off (almost) completely and do some snorkeling with our underwater cameras. Unfortunately my mask filled up with water almost constantly, and while that didn’t stop me madly snapping the camera, I was left with lots of photos of the sea floor and the odd piece of seaweed. Awesome skills! I did marginally better with the wildlife on land – a kiskadee and a lizard. I even managed to capture a rare glimpse of Steffi Graf while having lunch. It’s really hard to discreetly take photos of celebrities. I failed. I mean, I got the picture, but I wasn’t discreet about it. And it is for that very reason that I would never be able to live in Bermuda. The entry requirements are fairly restrictive as it is, but also Bermudians are very civilized and polite, and I’m…well, I’m not.
If push came to shove, I would totally have been voted off that island.
