We all know the situations that bring out the worst in us, and the sensible among us do their best to avoid them. Some situations can cause even the most fair-minded, rational and reasonable people to behave very badly.
For me, it's karaoke.
For some reason, whenever there is a microphone within reaching distance, and the opportunity to showcase my (not at all, really) talent, I become someone I don't like very much. And someone that no one else likes much either.
I can't help myself. I can hear myself. I can see myself. I wish I could take myself by the hand and lead myself quietly away, but oh my god, the power of the mike is such that resistance is futile.
It would be easy to blame it on the alcohol, but there is no time for drinking when there are songs to be sung. And it wouldn't be so bad if monopolising the microphone was my only indiscretion, but no, that's not enough for me! Why, it is surely my duty to trash other people's musical taste as well. I mean, really, why would we sing Born to be Bad when Delta Dawn's on the menu? C'mon people!
So there's the monopolising, and the refusal to play anything post-1973. Candida, anyone? (I mean the song, not the infection). There is also the refusal to go home until all of the songs on the selection list (apart from those I deem unworthy, naturally) have been sung at least three times.
Uh, so I tend not to be invited out to karaoke with the civilised people anymore. But that's okay! Because now we have this! So I get to be obnoxious in the privacy of my own home, with only the girls to judge me. And that is just so awesome.
